“If you tell her she’s beautiful, she’ll think you’re sweet, but she won’t believe you. She knows that beauty lies in your beholding…There’s a better way. You show her she is beautiful. You make mirrors of your eyes, prayers of your hands against her body. It is hard, very hard, but when she truly believes you…Suddenly the story she tells herself in her own head changes. She transforms. She isn’t seen as beautiful. She is beautiful, seen.” – Patrick Rothfuss, Name of the Wind.
Deep quotes aside, I really do believe that the only thing standing in the way of self confidence and self acceptance is just that, the self. I used to do this truly truly terrible thing. I would stand in front of the mirror, hold my t shirt up, and poke at the fat on my lower back. The thing that made me realise how much of a self destructive and disgusting behaviour that was, was when I imagined myself going and doing that to another person.
Of course, there is no way in hell I would ever ever dream of doing that, so I really questioned why I thought that was an acceptable thing to do to myself. Guess what, I realised that it really, really, wasn’t acceptable. Whenever I receive messages from family and friends hating on the way they look, my response is always “Would you say that/think that about another person”? Because I can pretty much guarantee you you wouldn’t! (If you would then thats a whole other issue!).
We are always our harshest critics, our biggest doubters. I know it sounds kinda cheesy, but have you ever considered what might happen if you truly believed in yourself, if you trusted yourself, in your beauty and had self confidence? They way I feel about it is that there are probably enough people in the world that would put me down, for one reason or another, so why the hell should I give them a head start?
Give yourself the kindness and consideration you would give a friend and take time for some self love and appreciation. Instead of looking in a mirror and picking apart all your flaws, stand there and appreciate all the things that your amazing, functional body and mind are doing for you. Hi 5 yourself. It is hard to feel this way all the time, self doubt will continuously creep back in, back you can keep pushing it out again! I often ask students to set an intention for their practise/day/week. My intention for you all today is to appreciate yourself, and of course, I can’t help but finish how I stated, with another deep quote
“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean, In a drop” – Rumi.
(can you tell I was feeling emotional when I wrote this? I was even listening to Coldplay :))